This is a rant about absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing you say- but that is absurd. How do you write about absolutely nothing. Well, that is simple. You start with the words Absolutely nothing, and you go from there.

“Well, you’re not wrong.” George replied…. though I do wonder why this narrator is always naming me George and not frank, dick, Buff or George Blaptine the third

“You do know that you just used George as a name you prefer to be called right now” Buff- who was naturally lifting weights as he voiced his reply. “Besides buff is already taken.”

“Yes, yes, I know about your clown brothers political run for most popular ducky – it was all in – here the narrator interrupts…” I’m sorry guys I seemed to have lost my place- can we start over?

“Doing so, would be such a pain,” Buff replied. “How about a single liner to get you back on track.”

“Okay,” I guess that will have to do…”

“Gentlemen spelled backwards is MenGentle…” Buff replied as he quickly switched from a 50 pound to a 100-pound weight

“Okay, and what does that have to do with what we are talking about?”

“Nothing, absolutely nothing.” Buff replied. “And that is what this rant is supposed to be about.”

“He’s not wrong?” George replied as he watched Buff throw the 100-pound weights and pick up a pricer to car- with a raggedy Ann doll strapped in (don’t worry for this current piece no live toddlers were used-yet). “Though I do wonder why do you always nae me George and not frank, buff Clemente or George Blaptine the third duke of Quishmire.”

“Well first off, George comes to mind because of the old bugs bunny cartoon- I actually had a pet rock named George.”

“Do I look like a pet rock to you?” George the Conquer of Noodles replied in a huff. “But if you do insist on naming me George, then you at least make me the Third Duke of Quishmire?”

“Why would you want to be a Duke when you’re already the Conquer of Noodles?”

“When did I become the Conquer of Noodles?”

“In the previous line,” Buff replied as he threw the pricer car across the nonexistent room. “You guys have really bad attention spans. Now if you excuse me, I have a protein moon drink to consume before I hit the fully clothed beach.”

“Fully clothed beach?”

“Yes, fully clothed beach. Regular beaches were so yesterday and nude beaches were banned because they’re nippy in January. To many people were getting bitten. Now I really must be going. This conversation Is getting a little redundant and I have better things to do. Like penguins writing Haikus.”

“Haikus,” George the slayer of chicken nuggets replied. “I hate Haikus.”

“I concur,” Narrator replied. “They don’t make any sense to me.”

Well, that fine,” Buff replied. “Neither one of you were invited anyway.”

The end