Archives for posts with tag: love

Hissing in surprise, I jumped from the wall, dropping my stolen dinner in the process.

“And there you go wasting perfectly good food.” The voice said, as I stared into the bright green eyes of a medium sized cut with slivery blue fur. “We’re going to have to work on your reflexes, if you’re going to work for me.”

“Work for you? What line of trade are you in?”

“Boris- the one who you refer to as Hobo- and I are business partners. We head the Slight of Paw- Moscow division. Boris is in charge of recruitment and I do the training.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

“Because you are going to work for us. We will train you, giving you all the tools you need to succeed in this business. Who know, perhaps one day you will even be able to move yourself up.”

“You want me to become a thief, like you?”

“Why yes? Do you think this life is too good for you?”

“I never said that.”

“Oh, but you did…and yet you were the one who was caught stealing food. Look I’ll get straight to the point. As far as I can see you don’t really have any other options. You’re a country cat in a large city and you have no pertinent skills to fall back on. Besides all of this you owe me for stealing from my stand. Now, I’m standing here offering to take you in and set you on a successful career path. Are you really going to let pride get in your way. I’m going to give you a few minutes to think over my proposal. When you have made up your mind, come and find me. I’ll be sitting at a table to the right of the deep-fried mouse food stand. Turning around he walked back into the center of the court and disappeared in the crowd.

I had an emotional break down.

It wasn’t anything major-

Just my emotions taking over-

A bit of a hiccup, you might say.

It is a thought, a notion.

Undoubtedly untrue-

But yet – there is no evidence to prove otherwise

Now, I’m not talking about the basic stuff-

In fact, in this area, I seem to be lucky or blessed.

My basic needs are met- yes, I do have to struggle and fight for them- but they are provided.

Yes, I have been incredibly lucky when it comes to my health and overall safety…especially at work. It seems that something or someone has been watching my back

And yet, where is the breakthrough?

Where is the breakthrough that I have been looking for, that I have been searching for- where is the meaning – the purpose that I long for? Yes, yes, I know, I’m where I’m suppose to be right now and all I need is a little patience.

But how long am I supposed to be patient?   

I have been looking for this breakthrough, ever since I started down this path. I have learned a good may things during my time here and I have no doubt that there are more things for me to learn. But I’m tired of waiting and I yearn to move on… and yet the Guide remains silent?

Could it be that I have closed myself off? Did I wander or stray? Perhaps? Am I trying to go back? Maybe.

But back to where, when it seems that I have been left to find my own way and yet blocked at every turn.

What is going on? Why can’t I succeed? Why does it feel that I’m cursed – rather than blessed?

Why doesn’t the Guide speak to me?  When will it be my time to shine?

Am I looking at this the wrong way?

I’m trying not to be selfish. I’m trying not to make it about myself

And yet, I know what this is how it sounds.

I just want to know, when will I be useful- when will my potential be fully utilized?

How much longer do I have to wait?

How much longer do I have to stand at the ready?

Is there more that I have to learn?

If so, what?

Tell me, teach me, so that I can learn and move on from here

But do not let me stand here in the silence, wondering where you are