I guess this could happen to you. It happened to me. It happened to the guy next to you. So, yeah it could happen to you.

Why it would happen to you. Who know.  Some say its genetics, others say its old age, still others claim it’s the work of the divine.

I’m of course talking about male patterned baldness.

Now of course – I’m well aware that females can go bald too…. but most of these cases are from them pulling out their own hair – after having to deal with men.

Anyway, the most recent studies (conducted by me of course) have shown that most men have started balding in their late twenties and…oh shit, I forget where I was going with this…. Let’s see male headed baldness- covered that…. covered cause and effect and then conclusion? Nope…okay.

So, as I was saying, male headed baldness is an epidemic that is plaquing the common. Now, there are ways men have learned to cope with this. Some where ball caps, some completely shave their heads, while other are so far gone, that they fail to recognize the balding and thus go about their everyday lives unaware of the shame they are bringing on themselves and their family.

To which bring me to my next point. This illness, has some unfortunate side effects, besides the shame, that I have already mentioned, there is the sun burning of the exposed scalp, the Mr. Clean reference on multiple occasions. But the chief side effect is memory loss. Yes, you heard me correctly.

Now there are some treatments out there, that can soothe the mans suffering from this terrible disease, like multiple hunting and fishing trips, getting him that tool or riffle that he has been eyeing for over a year now. Perhaps he’s into game systems, that latest PlayStation or Xbox, might just do the trick.

Whatever is the certain thing your man is into, help ease his suffering and help get it for him… and I almost forgot…don’t get mad when he forgets anything and everything. Remember, It’s not his fault, that he forgot all about your birthday, anniversary and Valentine’s day. Instead recognize that all of this is a part of the disease. Simply ask him to try to do better, then go in the kitchen and make him a sandwich to help ease his suffering (please leave the arsenic out).

Sincerly,

He who shall not be named, since he is in hiding so his wife can’t find him.